Blood & Mud

Rugby Video: Ngwenya vs Habana, World Cup 2007

Seeing Ngwenya do this to Ospreys the other week got me searching for his outgassing of Habana in the last World Cup.  The touchdown aside, what I'd completely forgotten was just how good a try it was by the USA, particularly the work by Todd Clever to link up the play after the initial interception and then on to the amazing finish by the winger

The Lewis Moody Gameplan: explained

Lewis Moody has been dropped, which means that Martin Johnson will not have to worry about breaking the Leicester man out of his usual tactics. Thank God. Here it is in all its glory.

More Gameplans Explained here.

The bloodandmud.com awards

You’ve seen the real ones, now here are our gongs for the season past.  You can add any we may have missed in the comments, you lovely people.

Lazarus Award – England, for managing to reach a World Cup final despite being dead and buried a fortnight earlier.

Paul Burrell Award for Solidarity -   Lawrence Dallaglio & Mike Catt, for not letting a trifling thing like a relative tournament success get in the way of having their say and selling their books

Keystone Kops Award – Iain Balshaw, for continued excellence in the field of slapstick comedy

Zebedee Award – the London Irish line-out, for boinging higher than everyone all season, and finally earning an England call up for Nick Kennedy.  About bloody time!

Temperance Award – Danny Cipriani, for definitely not drinking and being out inappropriately at any time this season

Investors In People Award – The RFU, for the good practice and adroit handling displayed throughout the process of Brian Ashton’s sacking.

Musn’t Grumble Award – Brian Ashton, for being the only man to come out of the whole sorry mess with some dignity.

Love Birds Award – Shaun Edwards & Warren Gatland, for showing young men it is OK to love your friends in a very real way.  No kissing, mind.

Insomniacs Thankyou Award – Scotland, for putting an entire nation of sufferers to sleep for at least 80 minutes every weekend during the Six Nations

Teflon Award – Brian O’Driscoll, for blame never, ever being apportioned to him for any Irish failure, ever.

All Mouth, No Trousers Award – New Zealand, for another World Cup failure

All Trousers, No Mouth Award – Wales, for quietly winning a Grand Slam.

Spike Milligan Award – Marc Lievremont, for his logic-defying surrealist comedy selection policy

Don’t forget to add your own in the comments…

6 Nations: Eddie O'Sullivan; "I got selection right in World Cup"

Well that's alright then isn't it?  Given that the Ireland team had been arguably the best team in Europe for the 18 months previous to the tournament, and that there were not exactly many people banging on the door of the first fifteen, a trained chimp would have got that bit right. 

However, since the Genesis report into the failings at the RWC, Ireland are apparently going in the right direction.  They just need to convince Peter Gabriel to come back in so that pratt Phil Collins can go back on drums and they'll be sorted.

Dallaglio: I was shit but it was Brian Ashton's fault

Footballer Joey Barton, then of Manchester City, famously said "I was shit, here's my book" as a pop at the rash of player's books that appeared after England failed at the 2006 World Cup in Germany.  I am reminded of this when I read Lawrence Dallaglio's comments about Brian Ashton today. 

Dallaglio, less we forget, had a terrible World Cup.  He was so awful against the USA that he was dropped, but subsequently talked his way back into the team via the media, only to then have about as much impact on those games as me sat on my arse at home.  You would think that this would embarrass him slightly and lead him to shut his legendary gob for a little while. No, Larry wants to get his excuses in early and those excuses revolve around Brian Ashton and the fact that the players had to run the campaign. 

There is some precedent for this.  The Wales players did the dirty on their coach after an unpredicted Grand Slam success in 2005, Mike Ruddock was sacked and we all know what happened to the team afterwards.  Luckily, the RFU don't have to look far for an example of what no to do.

Thabo Mbeki finally talks some sense about racial quotas

After losing the World Cup on Saturday, I was in a bar (blind drunk, obviously) in Richmond having a conversation with a South African bloke about the impending racial quotas we all expected to be placed on their World Champion team.  It was interesting that the Bok in question did not really enter into the debate about quotas, preferring to repeat the refrain, "It is going to happen" no matter what drunken logic I threw in to suggest it should not.  Thinking back he probably couldn't understand a word I was saying, especially as I kept punctuating my conversation with the loud singing of Oasis songs.   Anyway, I imagine he is as surprised and heartened as me following the words of Thabo Mbeki yesterday.

The president said, "We must put behind our backs the controversies about how representative our teams are and the way to ensure this is by ensuring we have the players. We need to build up sport and use this victory to accelerate the process of getting all our young people, black and white, involved in sport." Halle - bloody - lujah!

Quotas may have worked as a sop to certain elements within his party and some pressure groups within the country, but the result for rugby would have been obvious and devastating.  Players who were perhaps not quite up to international standard would have been selected for reasons that have nothing to do with rugby; the team would be therefore weaker; and they would then start to lose against the top nations. No-one, black or white, is inspired by a losing team, black or white, and South Africa would lose all the impetus that their fabulous win has given the country and the sport.

Sense has prevailed, and my brain still hurts when I think about how they ever thought it was going to be a good idea.  But, I am not a black South African, have never experienced disenfranchisement on the level they suffered and so have no real comprehension of the history that informs the promotion of such plans.

Rugby World Cup: Anti-Team of the Tournament

The team of the tournament that you wouldn't cross the street to watch if they were offering free beer and women.

15.  Gareth Thomas - Wal
Talked a lot, fouled a lot, got banned a lot.  Did little else.

14.  Cedric Heymans - Fra
Hampered slightly by being played out of position at full-back, but even when returned to wing looked sluggish.

13.  Brian O'Driscoll - Ire
Finally toppled from his perch as the automatic choice as "best centre in the world" for lazy fans and journalists.  His performance summed up the whole Irish effort.

12.  Andy Farrell - Eng
If an alien had come down to watch this tournament knowing nothing about Farrell's previous career, they would be mystified as to why he was playing.

11. Sitiveni Sivivatu - NZ
Such a big reputation, such a turd-like performance   

10.  Dan Parks - Sco
Wasn't very good before the tournament, even worse in it.

9.  Shaun Perry - Eng
The former welder from the midlands who became an international rugby player.  Time to find the blow-torch again methinks.

1.  Matt Dunning - Aus
Fat, ugly and shit is no way to go through life son.

2.  Matthew Rees - Wal
Hooker is a simple position: you hook the ball back, you throw ball to your team mate in the line out.  He can't do either of these things.

3.  Guy Shepherdson - Aus
See 1.  Only less ugly and fat

4.  Fabien Pelous - Fra
The veteran looked every one of his 57 years of age.  Mullered off the field by Wilkinson in the semi.

5.  Paul O'Connell - Ire
About as dominant as a ballet dancers handshake.  New Martin Johnson, my arse.

6. Daniel Leo -  Samoa
Poor showing from the young Wasps man

7.  Richie McCaw - NZ
Like O'Driscoll was not absolutely the worst in his position, but relative to his ability was appallingly mediocre in the extreme.

8.  Lawrence Dallaglio - Eng
Talked himself into the squad beforehand, was crap against US.  Talked himself into the team again, was just as crap.

Rugby World Cup 2007: It's All Over!

Apologies for the delay in updates here at bloodandmud.com, but I'm afraid that I have only recovered from my Saturday night hangover about 20 minutes ago. South Africa have won it, and I think it was fair that the best team in the tournament took the trophy home to be put in a cupboard while they row about skin colour for two years.  But deserved winners of a great tournament nonetheless. 

The final itself was not exactly a fantastic game of rugby, with the Springboks quite happy to allow England to make mistakes and capitalise on the infringements and territorial advantage that ultimately led to.  There was debate about Mark Cueto "try" and for the record I'm in the "it wasn't one" camp. In fact I'm mystified as to how anyone can be in the other camp as the winger's boot blatantly brushed the whitewash before popping back up as he grounded the ball.   A no-brainer that one as I see it.  Forget that try anyway, no team that loses seven (seven!!) of its own line-outs deserves to win any game, let alone a World Cup Final.

Ironically, despite the loss, England look to have a rosier couple of years ahead of them than the world champs.  There is just the trifling matter of whether to give Yoda a new contract.

Third place play-off: France 10 - 34 Argentina

Well, that certainly told me didn't it? Oh me of little faith. 

What a game of rugby this was: passion, handbags, bearded blokes with bleeding eyes - it had it all.  The physical commitment from both sides was so all consuming that the game sometimes resembled a mass UFC bout on steroids; but that was not the whole story.

This was a glorious win for Argentina.  A complete display of total rugby that no other team in France has achieved, nor has a hope of equalling tomorrow night given the personnel and the situation.  Length of the field tries, check! Dogged defending on the line, check!  Intelligent kicking, check!  Strong scrum, check!  The list could go on and on.  In winning in the manner in which they did, the Pumas not so much thumbed their noses at those who criticised their game in this tournament, but  rammed their joyful thumbs into those critics' eyes.         

France by contrast were muddled and disjointed, and once the game started turning they never looked like holding back the celestial blue tide.  Laporte now shuffles off to a career in politics, which if it mirrors his rugby one will leave the electorate unfulfilled and frustrated when he retires in about seven years time.

By all that is right and holy in this world, Argentina should have an invite to a major tournament in the post tomorrow.  Rugby administration, however, is rarely right and definitely not holy.  I am not holding my breath.

Crap lookalikes: George Gregan / Errol Brown

Errol: "I believe in miracles, where you from you sexy thing?" 
George: "Zambia, actually, although I play for Australia"